🔗 Share this article

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?